4 actions that elevate my mindfulness

1) I practise flexibly

I practise mindfulness using a range of exercises, with each varying in focus, difficulty, effort, and impact. They are:

• Focus on bodily sensations: Mindful breathing, mindful body scans, gentle physical activities (e.g. walking, hiking, yoga). These are great for beginners.

• Focus on thoughts & emotions: Gratitude journaling, affirmations.

• Open focus: Also called open aware, open monitoring or choiceless meditation.

Note that:

• There are many more exercises. Some are not even strictly considered mindfulness exercises. Some are called the same name but are not done the same way.

• You can experiment with creating your own exercises as you gain more experience. Exercises work as long as they can help you introspect and become more aware of your internal world.

• There are many more ways of categorising exercises. You can create your own system of exercises as you gain experience.

Moreover, I adapt my mindfulness practice to my current emotional needs and development goals. This means my practice is fluid and varies from time to time. I also often look for ways to improve my exercises or try new exercises altogether.

Finally, I practise mindfulness knowing that each minute counts. For years, I only knew and practised 2 exercises - mindful breathing and body scan. Sometimes, I only did them 1-2 times every few weeks. Sometimes, I didn't know what I was doing and didn’t even finish the exercises. And I used to be hard on myself for not doing enough. But now, I see that each mindful moment helps me learn, adapt & grow.

2) I experience my emotions

My mindfulness journey is filled with small, positive changes. But the biggest breakthrough happened when I realised that in order to process an emotion, I need to experience it.

That may sound very obvious, but I simply hadn't understood it previously. I didn’t know how to process emotions. I didn’t know how to experience them. Instead, I spent so much time in life trying to avoid ‘negative’ emotions, only to let them control me.

So it was a monumental lesson for me. I learned that emotions come and go in waves. I learned that to process an emotion, I first need to identify and acknowledge it. Then I need to let their waves wash over me, feel them, and stay with them until they dissipate and can no longer influence me.

As I gained more experience with that, I realised that each wave, no matter how small or big, how comfortable or uneasy, is actually trying to say something to help me. So I started looking at emotions with much more gentle and non-judgemental attitude, which in turn made it much easier for me to process them.

Moreover, experiencing strong emotions may feel very unsettling, difficult and uncomfortable. But you can help yourself by speaking to a close friend, family or a therapist, journaling, and physical activities.

I view mindfulness as being more aware of my own sensations, thoughts and emotions, in a gentle and open-minded attitude. It is a skill that we can practise and develop.

Over years of practising mindfulness, I've experienced a gradual but very profound transformation in all aspects of my life. And while I'm still improving and growing, I've learned 4 things that continue to make mindfulness life-changing for me.

3) I reframe my thoughts

If learning to feel my emotions is the single largest change in my mindfulness journey, the second largest change happened when I learned that my thoughts can control my emotions. And because I can control what I think, I now have a way of controlling my emotions.

Of course, other things can influence emotions, and emotions can also shape our thoughts. However, I can’t control those things. So I’m going to focus on the thing that I can control.

Again, that may sound very obvious, but I simply didn’t understand it. So it was another significant discovery, because now I can learn to control how I feel, on the spot!

Finally, I learned that emotions can arise very quickly. I often feel them before I realise what thoughts are triggering them, especially during busy days. So I had to learn to slow things down to figure out what thoughts are driving my emotions and reframe them if necessary.

4) I use help

I’ve learned and developed a lot in my mindfulness journey. But I definitely didn't do it on my own. Many of my most significant moments happened because I had help:

• My first psychologist suggested I tried journaling.

• My mentor showed me how to experience my emotions and inspired me to research EQ, leading me to discover how thoughts can drive emotions.

• My second and current psychologist helped me process my childhood trauma and taught me how to think about life with balance and nuance.

• Mindfulness classes taught me many great mindfulness exercises.

While some of these professional services are not cheap, I took ownership of my growth and gained a lot out of every session by taking notes, asking for extra homework, and preparing for every session... It was definitely work. But it is by far, the most rewarding and impactful work I’ve ever undertaken.

These 4 actions continue to transform my life. And while what works for me may not work for you, I hope you still found something valuable. If you're looking to start or accelerate your mindfulness journey, book your first free call with me!